Later on, we'll conspire...

Awake this morning at 05:00 to prepare for my 07:30 flight. After an uncharacteristic struggle with the internet I was able to determine two things:

1. my flight was not delayed, at least not yet;
2. my flight was going to be very unpleasant, due to hundreds of miles of storms caused by a large pressure front pushing across the east coast toward the Atlantic.

As you know, I hate space travel, especially when bad weather is involved. So I brushed my teeth and showered and generally continued to prepare to leave for the airport while L called the airline to ask about the possibility of changing the day of my flight. She was on hold for over fifty minutes before finally speaking to one of the humans. The hold music was holiday-themed and I was surprised I never noticed how many holiday songs refer to bad weather. The hold music was on speakerphone as we drove to the airport and we heard:

1. Let It Snow, which contains the lines

The weather outside is frightful.
It doesn't show signs of stopping.
How I'll hate going out in the storm.

2. Baby, It's Cold Outside, which says things like

Look out the window at that storm.
Never such a blizzard before.

3. Winter Wonderland, the remastered edition, containing the oft excised verse about plane crashes and fiery doom.

As we arrived at the airport and pulled up to the terminal, moments before I got out of the car, I remember I was thinking that hold music should let you choose which songs you hear, when the cheery music finally stopped and was replaced by a real live customer service agent who quickly and politely changed my outbound flight from today 'til Tuesday. And he said that since there was a weather advisory there was no fee for the change, which is something I'd never heard before.

~~~~~~~

The world, apparently miffed that I managed to escape what was probably going to be a horrific flight, decided to dole out that same measure of unpleasantness throughout the day, on the installment plan. Among the things the world sent my way to fuck up my shit:

1. people who don't listen;
2. watching our seats get stolen out from under us by two queue-clueless women at my regular Sunday brunch spot;
3. a violent young skinhead yelling about buying a gun and shooting people;
4. my house has no heat.

That's right - my house has no heat, a fact I learned this morning at 05:01. This is the second time in two weeks I've been without heat, and the phone calls I made to address it haven't been returned.

"So what," I hear you say, "you live in Bedlam, where it's warm and sunny all year round." But that's a misconception. It's 38 F outside and it's going to get down to 21 before tonight is over. And while the Nunnery may be famous for many things, weatherproofing is not one of them.