Lord of the Cookies

L let it drop that she's been eating vending-machine elfin crackers of late.

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Sabitathica: So, what kind of elves? The southern kind from Rivendell? Or the northern ones, like Legolas?
L: Neither, I don't think.
Sabitathica: How come we never see any of Legolas's people? Is he the only one of his kind? There's lots of southern elves, but no northern ones except him. Why would that be?
L: They're like animal crackers. They don't -
Sabitathica: Isn't it weird that the elves have been living in middle-earth for thousands of years, and yet they're all trying to migrate away like one week before the greatest conflict in history? That's probably not a coincidence. How come nobody calls them out on that? The elves are probably all like "Heh, you're on your own suckas! You should have never given the ring to a Hobbit! Good luck fighting the eye!"
L: They're not from the north or the south. They're from Keebler. They live in the hollow tree cookie factory. This has nothing to do with Lord of the Rings.
Sabitathica: god I love those movies.

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One cookie to rule them all,
One cookie to take them,
One cookie to bring them all,
and in the oven bake them.