Wednesday, April 4, 2007

No lunch for the wicked.

For some reason, last night Madge said: 'If science were a dog, I think it should be a Saint Bernard, you know, with lots of booze around its neck. That'd be awesome.'

Then she suggested we get a dog and name it Science, which of course led to all sorts of silliness. Late-night nonsensical fun, like saying in a dog-calling voice: 'Sciiience . . . heeere science' or in a dog-reprimanding voice: 'Look what you've done now, science. Bad science.' Good times, good times.

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Yesterday at Slice I was talking with two students.

Student A: I want to withdraw from a class.
Sabitathica: Don't be stupid. Which class?
Student A: The World Music class.
Sabitathica: But that class is so easy. Why would you want to withdraw from it?
Student B: But Sabitathica, you've never even taken that class. How can you say whether it's easy or not? You don't know. . .
Sabitathica (to student A): Okay, how's the class? Is it easy or not?
Student A: It's pretty easy.
Sabitathica (to student B): See? Just because I don't know what I'm talking about doesn't mean I'm not right.

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Oh, and plus my car got broken into last night. Nothing was stolen, at least that I can see. But they rifled through my glove box and that little compartment, what's it called, between the driver's and passenger's seats that holds all your cds and loose change and tequila and stuff. They even rifled through my ashtray for some reason. They rifled through it all and left my cds and stuff all out on the passenger's seat. I don't know why they didn't take anything - my sweet sports coat was in the back seat, along with like three hoodies of various colours and this thing that a student gave me, a digital recorder/dictophone thingy that must be worth, at the very least, like three hits of meth.

It got broken into in Madge's parking garage. The managers of her apartment building sent out a memo last week to all the tenants saying that someone was breaking into cars in the garage, but I didn't pay it any mind because the memo also said that there were reports of unauthorized people trying to enter the building, and I thought they were just talking about me, because like a week and a half ago I was trying to get into the building, and I was standing outside knocking on the door, and this idiot who was inside the building looked at me like I was waiving a gun at him and he turned tail and ran and left me hanging outside. I tried to explain to the idiot that Madge lives inside, and I'm supposed to meet her, and she's expecting me, and that everything is going to be okay if only he'll let me in the building, but I could tell it wasn't really coming across because the door was between us, so I told him to just open the goddamn door so I could explain everything without having to shout, but he just sort of ran away anyway and left me hanging.

I keep looking for him now, every time I'm in her building, so I can say to him 'Hey - I remember you. You're the idiot who can't tell the difference between a criminal and a guy just trying to get into the building to see Madge. Nice to meet you... idiot." but I haven't seen him yet.

So I thought that the idiot had probably told the apartment managers to put out an APB on me because the managers notified all the residents that some guy was trying to enter the building, claiming that Madge was expecting him, but then I thought that the managers probably took some creative license and threw in the part about someone breaking into cars to sort of sex up the memo a bit, just to scare the residents and give them all something to rally around. So I didn't pay much attention to the memo but I guess I should have because now my car's been broken into and all my stuff's been put in the wrong places.

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And just now:

Sabitathica's Assistant: Do you have any candy?
Sabitathica: Absolutely. If by 'candy' you mean 'files to copy'.